Thursday, December 4, 2008

Dog is my Life Coach





The quickest way to learning a new behavior is to model it from someone else. (And you thought copying was only for kids!) Look no further than your family dog.

Dog’s were born with the behaviors we sometimes spend a life time trying to master. Let’s see if we can match the personality of our dogs.

A handful of behaviors I have been taught so far are how to be:

  1. Non judgmental
  2. Diligent and persevering
  3. Unconditional
  4. Faithful
  5. Joyful & Playful
  6. Dependable
  7. Confident
  8. Optimistic
  9. Fit
  10. Flexible
  11. Humorous
  12. Trustworthy
  13. Efficient
  14. Patient
  15. Loving

What’s great is that dog’s are unchanging. It is embedded in their consciousness so we can count on them to be the same tomorrow as they were today!

Kevin


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Mind Control 101

How hard is it to make yourself depressed? How easy is it to create the mood of frustration? We often do it automatically in response to specific triggers like when someone cutting in front of us on the freeway or if you lose your wireless internet connection just before you hit send.

To create the mood of depression, all one would have to do is droop their shoulders, look down towards the ground, talk slow & picture & think thoughts of despair! Likewise, you can create the mood of frustration in a similar way.


Think about illness. When we catch a cold, what happens? We get a sore throat along with the sniffles, a bit of congestion in our chest, fatigue, maybe a slight headache, watery eyes, etc. What happens to our mental state?

We all of a sudden begin doing less, we cut back on our activities, cancel appointments, get more bed rest, stop shaving & showering, walk slower, tell several people, seek moral support & sympathy, arm ourselves with the latest and greatest poisons to remedy the symptoms and "ride it out".

What if we committed ourselves to performing a different ritual when a cold hit? In order for illness to affect us, we must get sick mentally & physically. There's no doubt that the symptoms of a cold are real physically, however if we consciously choose to perform a different mental ritual a faster recovery is guaranteed.

We're not talking about denying the illness exists. We're talking about maintaining a strong, healthy & resourceful mental state of mind. What are some things you can change when you encounter illness?

Be aware of how you describe what is happening. If you say to yourself, "I am sick" as opposed to "my energy is low", it will affect you differently. When the symptoms begin to show see it as an opportunity exercise your mental muscle. Instead of saying "I am exhausted", remind yourself that you have 12 gears like your road bike and that you can cycle through them to keep active.

Some people have associated much pleasure to being sick unconsciously because of all of the special treatment they receive. The only time some husbands, wives, or kids get affection is when they're ill! This can be dangerous, because you may unconsciously attract illness when you are really in need of a hug.

Remember, at every moment we have options. Live consciously and be true to yourself.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Turning On And Off A Resourceful State Of Mind

I observed a homeless man the other day walking up and down the center divide slow and depressed, with his head and shoulders down low at a pace just fast enough to make eye contact with every driver he passed.

He wore this energy well with the wardrobe and physical appearance to match. His body posture, pace and facial expression changed in an instant as soon as the driver in front of me handed him a dollar bill. The transformation was extraordinary.

Within seconds, he shifted back to his depressed lowly state as he continued on past my car. What was clear to me was the fact that this fellow had all of the resources within him at that moment to change into a more productive state.

All change happens in an instant even if it seems to take years. What takes time is the period which leads up to the actual change, the change itself happens immediately. Most important; we must want to change! Remember, you were born to be your best!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Victims Advocate

Stepping in when parents are acting abusive towards their kids is at times challenging. Many avoid these situations because they fear retaliation by the parent, or prefer to take the path of least resistance by pretending it is none of their business or that it is not happening.

As a Professional Life Coach I understand the avoidance mindset, however when it comes to children, we must all shed our fear and excuses and stand up for those weakest among us, even if it requires putting yourself on the line in public.

As was the case last week in a Jamba Juice in Daly City. My family and I were grabbing a juice while out of the blue a mother hits her son in the head with what looked like a pamphlet or thin book. This bit of violence resulted from how her son was turning the pages in the recipe binder, which is out for the public to view while waiting for their drink.

The young boy had to be around 10-12 years old. From the look on his face, he appeared extremely humiliated, hurt and angry. Her action angered me just as much. I contained myself and approached her with humility and shared with her more effective ways of communicating with her son. The more we spoke the more angry and hostile she became, until finally she began hurling insults at me & my daughter.

I ignored her negative energy and kept to the topic. We eventually left. As we approached our car, a woman who watched this incident take place extended a smile of agreement, although she did or said nothing on behalf of the young boy.

You may find yourself in this situation one day. Take it upon yourself to be a true child's advocate and intervene when necessary. Although it is hard to tell, our species have evolved far beyond the need to resort to violence. After all this is one of the primary distinctions between humans and animals!

Bits of Insight

Many of our self-sabotaging beliefs and ways of thinking are buried in our unconscious mind, the part of us where the reactive mindset resides which makes change difficult.

Things do not change, people change however, people change.

Circumstances in and of itself does not have the power to control a persons thoughts. We allow circumstances to control our moods and behavior.

The environment does not have any power over us, other than the power we give it. People around us have no power over how we think and act unless we relinquish our power over to them.

We wait until good things are going our way to feel good, however when things are not going our way, how many of us are able to consciously go back to when we were feeling good?

It is hard to break through depression or stress while feeling depressed or stressed. We must tap into a state of mind above these to get out of them. In order to get to where we want to be, we must move from where we are!

Being able to create a good mood for “no reason” or in the worst circumstances is key is within our reach at all times.

Look back at a time when things were not going your way. What has changed since then? You are still the same person. The only difference are your thoughts, and how you are now representing things to yourself now compared to then.



One interesting fact I have noticed while offering free Life Coaching to the homeless is their communication. One particular individual’s entire dialog consisted of “what he could not do”, and “what was not available to him.”

My suggestion to him was to create a list of things that “he could do”, with a list of resources available to him at this very moment that he may be overlooking or intentionally avoiding, and to question whether he could absolutely know for certain that his thoughts of helplessness were true.


The recipe for improving any situaion is; go inside for the answer, second, you must want to improve your situation, third is to learn strategies for change, and fourth is to put them into practice, because knowledge without action is as effective as riding a stationary bike to the grocery store!


Now is the time to hold yourself accountable for your every mood, thought and action by taking control of your life. Prioritize your dreams, and focus your efforts on designing your life.

No matter what your situation is, there is always light at the end of your tunnel and the distance to the light is up to you.

Keep this circulating by printing and sharing it with someone in need.